Perfection? I think not.....

All right, it's time to be vulnerable and real. I debated in my mind about this post, but I figure most of the people who read my blog are my friends/family and know me well so there is no need to hide behind a mask. Masks aren't really that cool anyway ;)


It's been a rough couple of days in this house and today was my breaking point. I found myself sobbing in my closet floor locked behind not one, but three doors (bedroom, bathroom, closet). I had just reached a point that one may view as complete hysteria but as I look back now I think it was more like surrender. And I believe God needed me broken today. He needed me on my knees in that dark closet with no distractions so that I could pour out my heart to Him and ask Him for HIS help.

You see, I am a very strong women who has endured a lot in my lifetime. So, as an adult who now gets to "drive her own car" so to speak, I am such a control freak. I like my life orderly and neat. Wrapped up in a nice package with a great big bow. Yeah, right!

You see, I am an expert at making it look good on the outside, but you better watch out when you open the package that is my family because it might explode on you upon further investigation. When you look inside you will find two type A personalities married and living together now for over 19 years. Throw in a recently diagnosed ADHD teenager, an OCD red head with food allergies and an undiagnosed 8 year old ADHD child (her turn for testing is coming soon) and life just ain't simple.

And you know what, no matter what I do, I can't control it. I try to be the best mom and the best wife, but I have to be honest....it is EXHAUSTING! I just run circles around myself trying to make everyone PERFECT and happy and sometimes I end up making things crazier.


In that closet, through those tears, I did surrender. The pride and control just fell away. I was reminded of this Natalie Grant song...go check it out.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRG9BSYng0A

I can't "fix" it all, and you know what, thank God I don't have to! I do not live in a perfect world, there IS no such thing as perfect people. Only a perfect God. And to that God, I am incredibly thankful because I know that he really does have it all under control and I can rest knowing that HIS plan is good and PERFECT for this family.