Well, I did survive last week. Jayson's play was fantastic and won a superior rating and his band did well at the recital. AND, I survived Coffee Talk and speaking in front of approximately 35 women. I actually did more than survive, I really enjoyed myself. Except for the small mishap of my heel sinking down in the hold on the stage (I didn't fall thank the Lord) I think it went quite well. The women were so responsive to me and gave me such encouragement. It was lovely.
So, this week is almost like a vacation. I subbed yesterday with my "special friends" and they always warm my heart (they are just so darn cute!). And today I have had the luxury of just hanging out in my home and relaxing a bit. NICE!
This weekend we have a nice family trip planned as a surprise for our children. It has been way too long since we have taken our kids somewhere just for fun. They are going to be so excited when they come home on Friday to find out that we are taking them to the Great Wolf Lodge in Grapevine. It looks like a totally cool place to go.
I love spending time with my family doing fun stuff. It's what I used to dream of when I was younger and planning my family. Every since I saw that episode of the Brady Bunch where they went on vacation to the Grand Canyon I started planning MY family vacations in my head. So, this little retreat is so exciting for me that I am the one who can't wait! Isn't it nice that I get to live out my dreams? Isn't God so good to me?
For I know the plans I have for you....Jeremiah 29:11
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
MY NERVES!
So tomorrow is the big night....Coffee Talk. I will be speaking tomorrow night and sharing my life story with a group of fabulous ladies who gather together 1 time a month to hear a speaker.
Nervous? Well, heck yeah!
And don't you know that Satan has a way of trying to worm his way into God's work. My nerves are shot and, of course, there is family drama occurring.
Poor little Hunter has broken out into hives and will require more allergy testing to figure out whether she is going to need the allergy shots or not. In order to test, one can't be on an antihistamine for 7 days. This is NOT a possibility for Hunter (or she would be miserable) UNLESS we put her on a steroid. Hunter was on a steroid 1 time when she was 4 and it was a miserable experience for us all. Well, already, after 1 dose, I can see it's not going to be much better this time around. Love her heart, she is just a moody little girl who is going to cry over everything. I pray that God will give me the heart to understand her emotional outbursts and I pray that her sister gets to survive the next 9 days. I had a talk with Katie about how her sister will be on medicine for the next 9 days and the medicine will make her a little grumpy so we must try very hard to understand. So, today, after the first dose Katie says "only 8 more days!" She is counting down!
I also have that ever existent busy-ness going on this week. 2 days of play performance for Jayson and his band recital on top of our usual schedule has me a little discombobulated. Oh, and did I mention I am sleep deprived from the hives break out? Poor Hunter itched all night 2 nights this week, so no sleep around here. And, out of respect to my husband, I won't say to much about his snoring, but it sure isn't helping me get the catch up sleep.
But, since my topic is on finding the hidden blessings, I am going to look for them now. That has to be a much better choice than dwelling on what is coming up tomorrow before I even make it to coffee talk....juggling kids, running errands, making some phone calls, and, DUH, rehearsing!
I did get to spend 2 1/2 hours with my wonderful mentor mom Tammy today and it was such a nice time. I adore Tammy and I love spending time with her. She is incredibly wise. She always says just the right things to me. I am so completely blessed to have her (and my other mentor moms) in my life. They just lift me up, care for me and love me in a way I have never really experienced before I met them. During this time Tammy told me I would be fine tomorrow. That God would use me to touch people. And you know what, I believed her. Not because I think so highly of myself, but because I trust her with every ounce of my being (and believe me, trust is not something I give out freely to just anyone).
And when my latest crisis hit this evening, I was able to pick up the phone and call Sheryl (another mentor mom) and just shoot straight to the heart of the matter about my "personal" issues. She comforted me, consoled me and then she prayed for me. Just like that. And in that prayer, she knew EXACTLY what to pray for because she knows me so well! Now, how's that for a blessing? When I got off the phone with her, I felt so much better and ready to get back on the track God needed me to be on for tomorrow night.
At this very moment, I feel my nerves easing just a bit as I sit and think about how very blessed I am to have these amazing mentors in my life. Told ya'll this blogging thing was like therapy to me! :)
Nervous? Well, heck yeah!
And don't you know that Satan has a way of trying to worm his way into God's work. My nerves are shot and, of course, there is family drama occurring.
Poor little Hunter has broken out into hives and will require more allergy testing to figure out whether she is going to need the allergy shots or not. In order to test, one can't be on an antihistamine for 7 days. This is NOT a possibility for Hunter (or she would be miserable) UNLESS we put her on a steroid. Hunter was on a steroid 1 time when she was 4 and it was a miserable experience for us all. Well, already, after 1 dose, I can see it's not going to be much better this time around. Love her heart, she is just a moody little girl who is going to cry over everything. I pray that God will give me the heart to understand her emotional outbursts and I pray that her sister gets to survive the next 9 days. I had a talk with Katie about how her sister will be on medicine for the next 9 days and the medicine will make her a little grumpy so we must try very hard to understand. So, today, after the first dose Katie says "only 8 more days!" She is counting down!
I also have that ever existent busy-ness going on this week. 2 days of play performance for Jayson and his band recital on top of our usual schedule has me a little discombobulated. Oh, and did I mention I am sleep deprived from the hives break out? Poor Hunter itched all night 2 nights this week, so no sleep around here. And, out of respect to my husband, I won't say to much about his snoring, but it sure isn't helping me get the catch up sleep.
But, since my topic is on finding the hidden blessings, I am going to look for them now. That has to be a much better choice than dwelling on what is coming up tomorrow before I even make it to coffee talk....juggling kids, running errands, making some phone calls, and, DUH, rehearsing!
I did get to spend 2 1/2 hours with my wonderful mentor mom Tammy today and it was such a nice time. I adore Tammy and I love spending time with her. She is incredibly wise. She always says just the right things to me. I am so completely blessed to have her (and my other mentor moms) in my life. They just lift me up, care for me and love me in a way I have never really experienced before I met them. During this time Tammy told me I would be fine tomorrow. That God would use me to touch people. And you know what, I believed her. Not because I think so highly of myself, but because I trust her with every ounce of my being (and believe me, trust is not something I give out freely to just anyone).
And when my latest crisis hit this evening, I was able to pick up the phone and call Sheryl (another mentor mom) and just shoot straight to the heart of the matter about my "personal" issues. She comforted me, consoled me and then she prayed for me. Just like that. And in that prayer, she knew EXACTLY what to pray for because she knows me so well! Now, how's that for a blessing? When I got off the phone with her, I felt so much better and ready to get back on the track God needed me to be on for tomorrow night.
At this very moment, I feel my nerves easing just a bit as I sit and think about how very blessed I am to have these amazing mentors in my life. Told ya'll this blogging thing was like therapy to me! :)
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Submisson
In this house we are learning a lesson on submission. I say we, because as Jay and I try to teach Jayson, I find myself learning a thing or 2 myself. Funny how that always happens to me.
Jayson loves to play football. He has played for 4 years now. Well, this week his coach basically told the boys "cut your hair or you can't play". OUCH!
Jayson's hair is how he defines himself. He prides himself on his hair. He likes himself with his hair the way it is and I have to say that I like it too! Check out his picture in my December blogs to see just how handsome he is! So to have someone tell him he must cut his hair is a really hard request for him to swallow. You see, I have never once told him to cut his hair. I figure, he's this totally awesome kid and if he chooses to wear his hair like this, then that is one choice at 12 years old that I can allow him to make. But, the coaches are making the decision for the athletes that will be playing on their teams and to cut or not to cut is a symbol of respect for their authority.
I completely understand Jayson's NOT wanting to cut his hair. Today I was the one who sat in Bible Study telling my fellow Disciplees (is that a word?) that I myself struggle with the "musts" that come along with being a Christian example. Why must I always be the one who has to say "I'm sorry" or why must I always be the one to take the higher ground? Sometimes I just don't really want to! It's rough to make good choices all the time, sometimes it's even painful!
However, as Tammy (my dear teacher) explained: I do have the right to say no....Jesus had the right to say no to the cross, but sometimes we just have to give up our rights and do the right thing! That Tammy is such a great teacher.
So, as the Discipler of my child, I must help him to learn that if he wants to continue to play the sport he loves, he will have to respect the authority over him and cut his hair. He will have to choose to do the right thing. And, yes, it will strip him of his right to wear long hair and it will strip him of his pride. But IS that a bad thing? Probably NOT.
My prayer for him is that he can quickly see (as I often do) that making a good choice or the right decision is always blessed in the days to follow! Maybe with a touchdown??????
Jayson loves to play football. He has played for 4 years now. Well, this week his coach basically told the boys "cut your hair or you can't play". OUCH!
Jayson's hair is how he defines himself. He prides himself on his hair. He likes himself with his hair the way it is and I have to say that I like it too! Check out his picture in my December blogs to see just how handsome he is! So to have someone tell him he must cut his hair is a really hard request for him to swallow. You see, I have never once told him to cut his hair. I figure, he's this totally awesome kid and if he chooses to wear his hair like this, then that is one choice at 12 years old that I can allow him to make. But, the coaches are making the decision for the athletes that will be playing on their teams and to cut or not to cut is a symbol of respect for their authority.
I completely understand Jayson's NOT wanting to cut his hair. Today I was the one who sat in Bible Study telling my fellow Disciplees (is that a word?) that I myself struggle with the "musts" that come along with being a Christian example. Why must I always be the one who has to say "I'm sorry" or why must I always be the one to take the higher ground? Sometimes I just don't really want to! It's rough to make good choices all the time, sometimes it's even painful!
However, as Tammy (my dear teacher) explained: I do have the right to say no....Jesus had the right to say no to the cross, but sometimes we just have to give up our rights and do the right thing! That Tammy is such a great teacher.
So, as the Discipler of my child, I must help him to learn that if he wants to continue to play the sport he loves, he will have to respect the authority over him and cut his hair. He will have to choose to do the right thing. And, yes, it will strip him of his right to wear long hair and it will strip him of his pride. But IS that a bad thing? Probably NOT.
My prayer for him is that he can quickly see (as I often do) that making a good choice or the right decision is always blessed in the days to follow! Maybe with a touchdown??????
Saturday, February 9, 2008
One year
Thursday I was watching Hunter tumble. There was another lady there and she was waiting for her parents to show up from out of town. Obviously they were going to come to watch the granddaughter tumble before going to her home. When they walked in, it was like someone literally knocked the wind out of me. The grandpa had snow white hair. Hair like I haven't seen in exactly 1 year. And it wasn't just the hair. It was the joy in their eyes at seeing their grandchildren. It was the words they spoke: "I love you and have missed you sooo much! My how much you have grown! Just give me one more big hug!"
The grandpa took the grandson outside to play some basketball while the sister finished her class. The grandma ooohed and aaahed over the "amazing" things her granddaughter could do. It was like time stopped and I was watching an old movie of when VT and Bug used to attend the events of my children. It was like I suddenly could remember every event they ever came to from the time Jayson was born.
IT HURT LIKE HELL! I wondered how I was going make it sitting there through the next 45 minutes waiting for Hunter to get out of the class.
Darn it, my children had that love and it has been taken away. I honestly thought that with this 1 year mark I would be supporting Jay and I find myself finally giving into some of my own grief. I feel weak, and for those of you who know me, you know how much I HATE to feel like a weakling.
My son will never again hear his grandfather tell him how awesome he is and my daughters will not have their grandmother teaching them to cook, sew or do manicures. My husband should be celebrating each day of his new job with his father and hearing VT say "your new boss must be pretty impressed that you have already wrapped up 2 deals in 2 months!" Instead, we grieve the passing of this year.
So, I don't really sound like the strong one do I? Considering it is after 6 PM and I am still in my pjs refusing to even go out to eat. I don't think I am even putting on a very good show of it. I keep remembering this day 1 year ago and it seems like yesterday. Honestly, I can almost tell you every minute of the day that passed on February 9, 2007. I can remember what I was doing at this time last year on this day and I can remember what we were feeling. It's like some sort of ghost pain in my heart.
I know God is allowing me the grief, the feelings of weakness and vulnerability. Maybe, even though I say I believe in His strength, I don't truly give up and allow Him to demonstrate it to me. Maybe, just maybe, through my grief He will show me how strong He really is.
The grandpa took the grandson outside to play some basketball while the sister finished her class. The grandma ooohed and aaahed over the "amazing" things her granddaughter could do. It was like time stopped and I was watching an old movie of when VT and Bug used to attend the events of my children. It was like I suddenly could remember every event they ever came to from the time Jayson was born.
IT HURT LIKE HELL! I wondered how I was going make it sitting there through the next 45 minutes waiting for Hunter to get out of the class.
Darn it, my children had that love and it has been taken away. I honestly thought that with this 1 year mark I would be supporting Jay and I find myself finally giving into some of my own grief. I feel weak, and for those of you who know me, you know how much I HATE to feel like a weakling.
My son will never again hear his grandfather tell him how awesome he is and my daughters will not have their grandmother teaching them to cook, sew or do manicures. My husband should be celebrating each day of his new job with his father and hearing VT say "your new boss must be pretty impressed that you have already wrapped up 2 deals in 2 months!" Instead, we grieve the passing of this year.
So, I don't really sound like the strong one do I? Considering it is after 6 PM and I am still in my pjs refusing to even go out to eat. I don't think I am even putting on a very good show of it. I keep remembering this day 1 year ago and it seems like yesterday. Honestly, I can almost tell you every minute of the day that passed on February 9, 2007. I can remember what I was doing at this time last year on this day and I can remember what we were feeling. It's like some sort of ghost pain in my heart.
I know God is allowing me the grief, the feelings of weakness and vulnerability. Maybe, even though I say I believe in His strength, I don't truly give up and allow Him to demonstrate it to me. Maybe, just maybe, through my grief He will show me how strong He really is.
Monday, February 4, 2008
Superbowl Sunday
Yesterday was a HUGE day for us. BIG! Jay was so nervous it was really adorable. I just loved watching him get all prepared and get everything just right for the big moment......and guess what, I am NOT talking about the Superbowl (those of you who know Jay is a Cowboy fan knew that anyway!).
Yesterday morning Jay had to give a speech. I would have to say, the biggest of his life. A lot was on the line. He has spoken to big groups, important groups, influential groups, but never did an audience matter like the one he spoke to yesterday.
Jay had to give a speech about his love and adoration of our dear Hunter. Her Princess and the Kiss class had a Daddy/Daughter brunch yesterday morning and the featured speakers were THE DADS! The topic was "How special you (my daughter) are to me!"
Jay must have spent 4 days on his speech. It had to be perfect. He wanted Hunter to know just how special she really is. Hunter is a middle child and our very quiet, willing to please child. Sometimes I know she must really feel under-appreciated. But, yesterday the spotlight was on her! I would have loved to have been in that room. I wanted to hear it all so badly, but this was the Daddy/Daughter day. Special for Jay and Hunter.
I won't know all that happened, but the highlights warm my heart. Jay, of course, got choked up and my sweet little girl was touched to the point of tears (For our stoic Hunter that is saying a lot). I think it was a perfect speech. And when she came home, she gave her Dad this note that says "I love you Daddy" and it is now proudly displayed on Jay's bulletin board in his office.
How lucky are my daughter's that they can tangibly see the love their father has for them? How lucky am I to get to see it all played out in front of me. The power of our earthly father's love can not be overstated. It is just the most amazing gift a dad could give a daughter. In my opinion, the tone of her life will be set by knowing how much her father adores her. My girls are so incredibly blessed. God just knew that Jay would be the perfect dad for them. In Jay's love for the girls, I see a model of how our Heavenly Father loves us all, what he will do just for us and it is truly an amazing revelation for me.
Hunter will cherish the memory of this Super Sunday for the rest of her life. When she starts to feel overwhelmed or like she isn't valued in this society, she can always think back to yesterday and know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that her Daddy loves her. And it is my prayer that through knowing that her Daddy loves her, she can easily know how much her Heavenly Father loves her too!
And yes, we did watch the big game, but I must say, the Superbowl simply can't compare (sorry Giants fans!). But it was a good way to end our very own Super Sunday!
Yesterday morning Jay had to give a speech. I would have to say, the biggest of his life. A lot was on the line. He has spoken to big groups, important groups, influential groups, but never did an audience matter like the one he spoke to yesterday.
Jay had to give a speech about his love and adoration of our dear Hunter. Her Princess and the Kiss class had a Daddy/Daughter brunch yesterday morning and the featured speakers were THE DADS! The topic was "How special you (my daughter) are to me!"
Jay must have spent 4 days on his speech. It had to be perfect. He wanted Hunter to know just how special she really is. Hunter is a middle child and our very quiet, willing to please child. Sometimes I know she must really feel under-appreciated. But, yesterday the spotlight was on her! I would have loved to have been in that room. I wanted to hear it all so badly, but this was the Daddy/Daughter day. Special for Jay and Hunter.
I won't know all that happened, but the highlights warm my heart. Jay, of course, got choked up and my sweet little girl was touched to the point of tears (For our stoic Hunter that is saying a lot). I think it was a perfect speech. And when she came home, she gave her Dad this note that says "I love you Daddy" and it is now proudly displayed on Jay's bulletin board in his office.
How lucky are my daughter's that they can tangibly see the love their father has for them? How lucky am I to get to see it all played out in front of me. The power of our earthly father's love can not be overstated. It is just the most amazing gift a dad could give a daughter. In my opinion, the tone of her life will be set by knowing how much her father adores her. My girls are so incredibly blessed. God just knew that Jay would be the perfect dad for them. In Jay's love for the girls, I see a model of how our Heavenly Father loves us all, what he will do just for us and it is truly an amazing revelation for me.
Hunter will cherish the memory of this Super Sunday for the rest of her life. When she starts to feel overwhelmed or like she isn't valued in this society, she can always think back to yesterday and know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that her Daddy loves her. And it is my prayer that through knowing that her Daddy loves her, she can easily know how much her Heavenly Father loves her too!
And yes, we did watch the big game, but I must say, the Superbowl simply can't compare (sorry Giants fans!). But it was a good way to end our very own Super Sunday!
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