Proverbs 31 or Mary?

Recently I have been given reason to pause and take a look at the way I (we) run our family, our home, our lives. I won't go into the reasons, but I did stop and examine these things that I just mentioned.

Our family sat down to lunch today after church and my question to them was: how do I be a Proverbs 31 woman and still be a Mary in my Martha world? For some reason today it just struck me that the two stories kind of conflict. Now, I KNOW God's word is not conflicting and there has to be a balance in there, but I am not sure I know what it is.

Here's the deal, I try very hard to be a Godly wife and mother, but the Proverbs 31 example seems so far out of my league it's almost embarrassing. How can I possibly live up to that????? However, I do feel it is my duty to cook, clean, and do laundry all the while meeting the emotional and physical needs of my family. I also find it important to grow myself in my faith while at the same time balancing my volunteer work at church. And you know, I think I do it pretty well most of the time. BUT (stay with me here, because this is where my line blurs) with a family of 5 it is often so much work, that I do look like a Martha, I am sure to some outsiders.

So, after lunch, we read Proverbs 31 together. Our discussion was good and I think we have just decided that it IS about the balance. But some comments were: (Jay) The proverbs 31 woman is doing all she does with a husband by her side, helping her. So, even the best woman needs a helper!!!! Kudos to you honey! And then: (Hunter) Mom, it's just better to be Mary anytime than Martha, Martha, Martha because Mary just wanted to be with Jesus! Oh, the words of children! Poor little thing...she wasn't following my train of thought now was she? But pat pat on the head and a big smile because she at least contributed to the conversation.

But wait! Hunter's Mary example may actually have given me the best insight: Martha wasn't a bad sister, she just wanted everything to be perfect for Jesus. JESUS! Who wouldn't cook and clean for days if they knew Jesus was coming to visit? And Mary wasn't a lazy sister, she just wanted to bask in the presence of her Lord, after all, the dishes will be there tomorrow but Jesus doesn't show up in your house everyday (well, you know what I mean)! Maybe being a Proverbs 31 in the best possible way would be to know when to stop "serving" and get still and spend time with Jesus. Mary knew about the balance!

So, even thought Hunter didn't seem to be really "getting" our conversation, I think she might have actually taught me something! Isn't that the way it always happens with me? My kids always have to help me learn a lesson.

Home

Well, yesterday was a blur. We were at the surgery center very early and back home very early. Katie did excellent during the surgery and pretty good after. When she woke though and looked at me she started crying...then I started crying and daddy had to step in and take over. (Side note: when I figure how to get that picture from my cell phone to this blog, I will post it). She snuggled in on his lap and went right back to sleep. I have to tell you, Mommy's are so important, but sometimes you just can't make it without a daddy. So, kudos to our dad!

Anyway, she had a good day yesterday, A good night last night and so far this morning all is well. She is doing what she loves best CRAFTS! I stocked up on those before the surgery.

The only struggle we have is that she does NOT like the taste of her medicine. This is not a surprise considering she is very taste/smell sensitive. She even cried yesterday when we tried to give it to her and said "I can't swallow without my tonsils!" And the medicine does give her "psuedo" energy. She was caught climbing the shelves in the pantry yesterday looking for sprinkles for her ice cream. UGH!

Our prayer requests are that she can make it through the nights without the pain meds so that she can settle down and sleep and that she would not have any complications during the healing.

*she got these balloons and stuffed animal from Sissy Karen and Great Gran....they made her very happy!

D-day

It's coming....Thursday! I can't believe we are almost there. Please keep my baby in your prayers! Sweet little thing!

Safety

I like words, but I like pictures too.....because they make me think of more words! lol =)
Anyway, this picture says a lot to me.





You see, we put up our tree early since Katie is having tonsils out on the 20th. That way the "hard part" is done and she can enjoy looking at the tree on her sick days. So, this year, it was Katie's turn to put up the star. You probably can't tell, but that tree is over 8 feet tall. But, she was going to have her turn. After all, she may be little, but she is mighty!

So, Jay brings out the ladder and puts her on it. Without even the slightest hesitation, she heads up. Of course Jay is right behind her. But look at her and look at him. She isn't the least bit afraid and she is on that top step and reaching way over to put the star on. But she is also holding onto her daddy and the amazing thing is that she is just confident he is NOT going to let her fall. His strong arm is there to hold her and she trusts that he will do what he has told her he would do.

Every time I see (literally) a moment like this, it amazes me. I didn't have that when I was her age, so I am often taken back at the trust she has in her daddy. I am overwhelmed that this little girl trusts that when daddy is there, no harm is going to come to her. She is going to be just fine. No matter what the situation is.

Hmmmm, guess there is a lesson in that for all of us. Don't we all have a Heavenly Daddy that we need to trust like that?

*Side note: Daddy did take care of Katie, but the star didn't fare so well......but that's another story! =)

More pictures of the play

I couldn't use my flash, so some of them are blurred, but some are good!

Our Star

So, last night was the opening of the play. It was FANTASTIC....the kids were just awesome. Their theater teacher is just amazing. Most of us would never know the talent our children have if she didn't show us (literally).

Each time I see any of my children do something new or different or just something that they are great at, it's like watching them take their first steps all over again. It's like hearing the first word all over again. I just can't stop smiling and I can't stop clapping and cheering them on!

It is an amazing feeling to watch your child do something that he was born to do. It literally fills my heart in a way that I simply can't explain. I am just so proud of him!

The middle child

It's late, all the kids are in bed and I was thinking about how I don't speak much about Hunter's "stuff". And then it hit me, she just doesn't have the same sort of "stuff" Jayson and Katie have. I see why the middle child has to vie for position, they can get lost so easily in between the older and the younger. In our case, it's teenage hormones versus little girl anxieties. When, for pete's sake does Hunter have time for a crisis?

Hunter, my sweet, precious child who is so full of sass it amazes me! But yet, she is the girl who just does about everything that I ask her to do without complaining. She is such a great kid that even at parent teacher conference her teacher calls her the perfect student. She's polite, she's helpful, she is organized and she's SMART! We have never had a homework struggle with her, never had a "stress" meltdown. We never have to bring her things forgotten at home. She is just a super organized child. E-A-S-Y!

I know that there is no perfect child, but Hunter really does try to be our perfect child. We got off to a rocky start when she was a baby (reflux would be to blame for that), but my goodness she is so easy now. She reminds me of myself at that age actually......

Now, let me just say, reminding me of myself isn't exactly a kudo for me (or her). As much as I love the ease of having Hunter as a child, I worry about her falling into the trap I did. Be perfect and get love. That was my equation all thruough my life until about 5 years ago. I always thought if I were the perfect child that I could make my parents love me and want to be with me. I really don't know where I got that notion, but it is what it is.....was what it was. And let me tell you, it will wear a person out.

One day last week, my dear wise women and I were praying together in Hunter's room and I was so overcome with emotion because I realized how important it is for Hunter to know that I love her. I love her with a fierceness I could never explain to her. And I prayed for my need to have her know that I love her regardless of her "works". I need her to know that when she does fail (and she will), that I will love her as much at that time as I do now. I really need her to know that perfection is NOT attainable and that she shouldn't kill her spirit or exhaust her body trying to reach it so that she can feel loved by anyone.

But the most important thing I need her to know is that GOD loves her and HE doesn't expect perfection from her at all. And that when she fails (and she will) He will be there right along side her mama to pick her up and tell her that she is amazing and it's not because of what she does, but because of who she is!

Love you baby girl!

1 year

Yesterday was one year since Jay's mom died. And quite honestly, I am stunned myself, but I just don't have the words to describe the feelings I have regarding this day.

I just want Jay to know that I recognize that it has been a year since his mother passed and that I know this year has had lots of hard days in it. I wish that she were still here with us and that we didn't have to feel the pain in losing her. But, I also know that she is in Heaven with VT and JESUS and for that, we can shout for joy. Even through our tears.

Pain

Katie's tonsil will come out November 20th. I honestly don't know if I am looking forward to it or dreading it. On one hand, I know sleep will come so much easier on her, but on the other I can't see much past the pain she will endure.

Pain....

Why is it that each time we get to the point of change in our lives, often change for the good, we have to endure the pain to get there? I mean why does every stinking thing have to be so hard? I know, I know everything isn't really hard, but it sure seems lately around here it is. I guess if you came to my blog today for one of my chipper lessons, I have let you down. Sorry about that.

You see, I have a daughter who is going through separation anxiety to the max and quite honestly it wears a person down after a while. She struggles for control in every situation. Why? Fear maybe, or maybe PAIN? She has sure felt enough of that over the past 18 months. She actually told me in the car the other day that she missed her grammy and papaw so bad that she couldn't hardly stand it. PAIN! That pain jabbed me straight to the heart. I felt it for her, I really did. So, because of her pain, I feel pain. I hurt so bad that I can't hardly stand it! I wish I could fix it for her, but I can't. It's like the tonsils, she has to feel it for a while so she can push through to the healing.


Katie's doctor assures me that the pain from the tonsils will be temporary and that when we come out on the other side, we are going to be so happy with the results. If this is the same way God operates (no pun intended), then could someone tell Him, that we are ready for healing to begin. I am sure we will be glad in the end that we endured the pain and we will see the lesson for it, but when we are in the middle of it, it pretty much stinks.

So, there you go....my downer of a blog. I don't do it very often, but sometimes a girl just has to come clean. Maybe it's the beginning of the healing???? The beginning of the end of the pain? Sure hope so!