Summer!

Summer! What a fun word for all the kiddos out there. I know mine have been screaming it since 3:00 yesterday. They are 3 happy children and I am ahappymomof3!

Most of you know that yesterday was H's last day of 5th grade. WOW! Our middle child is so grown up. She is going to MS and there is not a thing I can do to stop it. Sad, but yet, not so sad. I have watched one child go through middle school and really bloom there. Oh, don't get me wrong, middle school years are tough, but he enjoyed his independence, learned some valuable life skills and met some really great new friends. So, even though I am sad my daughter is growing up way too fast, I am excited for her on this new adventure she is about to take.

So, now, I have a HS kiddo, MS kiddo and one still in elementary school. I have no idea what I was thinking when I spaced them out like this....obviously I wasn't planning my carpool schedule ; ) What an exciting time in our lives. Three kids at 3 different stages of life. I can't help to be a little sad, but really, it's just a little sad. I have enjoyed EVERY stage of each one of my children's lives and it is always a warm feeling in my heart to see how they conquer the next step in the road of life.

I know it's hard for us to watch our children grow up and to watch them prepare to leave our nest, but as sad as I can get, I have to know that this is all a part of the amazing plan God has for life. And I am just so honored he picked me to watch these 3 children grow and change right before my very eyes!

Here's to a great summer everyone!

Perfection? I think not.....

All right, it's time to be vulnerable and real. I debated in my mind about this post, but I figure most of the people who read my blog are my friends/family and know me well so there is no need to hide behind a mask. Masks aren't really that cool anyway ;)


It's been a rough couple of days in this house and today was my breaking point. I found myself sobbing in my closet floor locked behind not one, but three doors (bedroom, bathroom, closet). I had just reached a point that one may view as complete hysteria but as I look back now I think it was more like surrender. And I believe God needed me broken today. He needed me on my knees in that dark closet with no distractions so that I could pour out my heart to Him and ask Him for HIS help.

You see, I am a very strong women who has endured a lot in my lifetime. So, as an adult who now gets to "drive her own car" so to speak, I am such a control freak. I like my life orderly and neat. Wrapped up in a nice package with a great big bow. Yeah, right!

You see, I am an expert at making it look good on the outside, but you better watch out when you open the package that is my family because it might explode on you upon further investigation. When you look inside you will find two type A personalities married and living together now for over 19 years. Throw in a recently diagnosed ADHD teenager, an OCD red head with food allergies and an undiagnosed 8 year old ADHD child (her turn for testing is coming soon) and life just ain't simple.

And you know what, no matter what I do, I can't control it. I try to be the best mom and the best wife, but I have to be honest....it is EXHAUSTING! I just run circles around myself trying to make everyone PERFECT and happy and sometimes I end up making things crazier.


In that closet, through those tears, I did surrender. The pride and control just fell away. I was reminded of this Natalie Grant song...go check it out.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRG9BSYng0A

I can't "fix" it all, and you know what, thank God I don't have to! I do not live in a perfect world, there IS no such thing as perfect people. Only a perfect God. And to that God, I am incredibly thankful because I know that he really does have it all under control and I can rest knowing that HIS plan is good and PERFECT for this family.

Happy Birthday to Katie!

Today is Katie's 8th birthday! WOW! When your BABY turns 8 you realize how time is just flying by. I KNOW it was just yesterday that she was born. She was the happiest, sweetest little baby ever. Always smiling and always going with the flow.

Her nature hasn't changed...she is still so incredibly sweet with just enough sass to go with her sweetness. She is always ready to make a new friend and she works so hard to be a good friend to the ones she has. She is an amazing little girl for sure.

She is also quite the entertainer. She loves to dance, she loves to tell jokes and she loves to make people laugh out loud. In fact, she doesn't consider herself a success unless she has made everyone in a room laugh OUT LOUD!

She has a bold sense of style and more self esteem in her pinky than I have in my whole body. She is a very smart, sassy, beautiful and self confident little girl.

When I look back at my description of her, I realize that, once again, I could be describing Jay's mother. Katie had the privilege of spending the first 5 1/2 years of her life close to her Grammy. She shared lots of time with her. Bug definitely had her influence on Katie, but it's so much more than that. It is almost as if God formed Katie using Bug's mold! Katie is such a gift to us, not only for who she is but also because when we look at her, watch her, listen to her, we get a reminder of Bug. And that is precious to us.

So, Happy Birthday my beautiful, sweet daughter. We love you so much our heart overflows!

Happy Birthday to Hunter

Friday was Hunter's birthday. Good Friday! Oh my, how did she get to be 11 and getting ready to enter Middle School? We celebrated her birthday as a family on Friday but it's actually this Saturday that she will have 11 11 years olds in the house for the sleepover. Pray for me people, pray for me. =)

I can remember the day she was born like it was yesterday....and that day too was Good Friday. Our first little baby girl. We were so excited to meet her. And who would have guessed that she would come into this world with red hair and the personality to go with it ; )

She has so much spunk, personality and self esteem that I am in awe of her. Over the past 2 years she has become quite interested in dancing and it has slowly become the thing that fills all her free time. And her father and I both agree that watching her dance is one of our favorite things to do. We are proud parents (duh!).

But with all the outward beauty that this child holds, it is her inner beauty that fills my heart with joy. Just the other day I observed her take up for a special needs child in her class. And it was after she voiced her opinion of "don't be mean to her, her life is hard" that 2 other girls joined in and defended the child with her. WOW! Not only does she get it, but she has the amazing ability to draw others in to her point of view. With that gift, she can make a huge impact on her corner of the world.

So, Happy Birthday (birthweek? we are still celebrating!) to our beautiful, spunky, smart, and compassionate red head! I can't wait to see what God does with this new year of your life!

Restoration....God's way.

Lately I have been reflecting on the work God is doing in my life. It hasn't been this big bright angels singing hallelujah from the sky moment, but as I look back now, it has been a slow, sometimes easy, sometimes hard transformation. It has taken some willingness on my part to reach out in faith and trust that God is in control. And for this control freak, that is really difficult to do. ;)

I made a decision a couple of years ago that I thought was God's will. Now, I am not so sure it was God's will or if he just took my choice and used it for his good. During those years I worked on healing the pain in my life. And when I say years, I do literally mean YEARS. I justified myself, I justified my choices and I blamed all those around me for the pain that was caused me. And then after my tantrum, I just got really still on the issue and allowed God to do a work on my heart.

Then came the restoration. The restoration part was also slow and a bit painful, but overall, I knew God was working it out. And then on this past Sunday God laid it on my heart that it was time for ME to ask for forgiveness in my attitude and my part in the conflict. Now again, if you know me, asking for forgiveness is HARD HARD HARD. I have this thing called pride that gets me every time. But it was clear to me that it was what God was asking me to do. And, honestly, I fear outright disobedience to God. I know I disobey the Lord, we all do at times, don't we? But this was like God's voice in my ear and I was not going to turn around and tell my Daddy "no".

So, again, I reached out in faith and asked for forgiveness. It didn't matter anymore who said or did what. It just mattered that I was obedient in what God had asked of me. And today I have pure joy in the fact that restoration done God's way is SOOOOO much better than anything I could have ever planned myself.

Today, I am able to not judge, not criticize and not fear. I am able to see the good, not the bad. I am able to be thankful for the time I am given and not be remorseful for the time I have wasted. I am able to offer my children a view of forgiveness and so much more as they too will benefit from the works God has done in my life.

Restoration, God's way, feels so good!

Waiting to see what God will do....

Yesterday our friend Brandon had surgery to remove a brain tumor. It caught everyone off guard when he was diagnosed with it and I think a lot of us were (are still) in shock. The surgery was a long and hard surgery but Brandon is now stable, praise Jesus.

Brandon is Rachel's husband. Rachel is my daughters' ballet teacher. My girls have loved Rachel since they first met her at the dance studio. She has the sweetest presence and the biggest heart. You can't help it, you just love her!

We all watched Rachel as she went through her pregnancy with little Asher. She was the cutest pregnant ballerina ever! And of course, we all were excited when little Asher came into the world. He was the cutest!!!!

I was honored and blessed when Rachel approached me about babysitting Asher toward the end of December last year. I had been subbing to try to make up the difference of the dance tuition since Hunter made company. And, although subbing was a great gig for me, it wasn't consistent and I NEEDED to make that money. So, since I love babies, I was happy to do it.

Over the past month and 1/2 my whole family has come to absolutely adore Asher. He is such a little rock star in my house (and I think he knows that too). My kids miss him when he is not here and ask for him every day when they get home from school. And while getting to know Asher, we also have come to know and adore his parents. We knew Rachel was an awesome lady, but getting to know Brandon has been lovely.

Brandon has an amazing disposition that just draws you in and makes you want to know him more. He is so easy to talk to and be around and I have never seen him NOT have a smile on his face. He also LOVES his little boy. It is so evident how much he and Asher adore each other. I remember one Friday, Brandon had been out of town and Asher was here eating when his daddy came to pick him up. Asher literally SQUEALED with delight when he saw Brandon and Brandon was grinning ear to ear because HE was so happy that Asher was so happy to see him! =)

So, knowing what an awesome little family they are, it broke my heart to hear that they were going to go down this bumpy road. But, through this last week I have seen two amazing people stand firm in their faith and shout out God's sovereignty to all who would listen. They are walking testimonies of what a life full of Christ should look like. Calling upon the Almighty each and every minute for their strength and healing. I am in awe. They are young in age, but so very wise in spiritual maturity.

I am blessed to know this family and I am eagerly waiting to see how God moves through them during this journey they are on. I know that God will be glorified, because Rachel and Brandon will make sure that all those they come in contact with will see Jesus first and foremost.

Where has my time gone?

Okay, I can NOT believe it has been so long since I have blogged. I am wondering if posting FB statuses has kept me from writing? I think that I fling my thoughts out there in little blurbs now and it's easier than writing a whole post on the blog.

But, I think I need to get back to this blog. If not for any other reason, but for the fact that it helps me organize my thoughts sometimes and get YOUR perspective on things that I am thinking about. AND, I guess when I am explaining myself behind my thought, I don't get my thoughts misinterpreted as I sometimes do on FB.

So, today I am wondering about this: Do you think FB is replacing blogging? Do you read blogs that pop up on FB or would you rather see the short blurb posts and move on?

Love to know your thoughts on this.