My boy

Well, this had been quite the month for my boy. He got to turn 14, go to New York City and make the High School tennis team! Wow! That's quite a bit for a boy who has never been 14, never been to NYC and never played tennis before this summer.

When God gave Jay and I the gift that is this child 14 years ago, we were so overwhelmed with joy that I can't find adequate words to explain the feelings. While he was a baby I watched every stage and held onto it for dear life because I would often think "hold onto this moment, because there will never be another like it".

And you know what, I was right. With each stage behind me, there was not another one like it, but what I didn't realize is that with each new stage there would be as much excitement and joy as the others. Different, yet the same. I still watch his accomplishments and become as proud (I know, pride is a sin, I try to contain it though, I really do) as I did the day he took his first steps and said his first words.

When we went to NYC for his birthday I had so much fun with him. We weren't just mom and son there, we were pals hanging out, seeing the sights and drinking in the city. I couldn't have had a better time with anyone else. He is so smart, so funny and so much fun to be around. It was such a glimpse of the man he is becoming.

I realized though, that this time was so very precious as he is now only 4 years from being out of the house and on to college. How could this be happening? I started to get a little sad at that thought.

But instead of clinging to this age, this stage, I am going to embrace it because I do know that with each new stage is going to come something exciting and new. After all, we have never been to a tennis match before and I know watching him play for the first time will be another proud moment for me and his daddy!

He is a good boy. He has a great heart and he loves the Lord. I know Jay and I still have years of work ahead of us in teaching him what he needs to know about the world, but I can confidently say that the Lord has Jayson safely in his arms and will be watching over him. This way, I can enjoy the stage instead of worrying about the next one! =)

Happy Anniversary Jay!

Today is my 18th wedding anniversary. 18 years ago, I was a mixed up young woman who really had no idea what commitment truly meant. But for some reason, (grace I guess you could say) God placed this amazing man in my life and offered him to me as my husband. It was the moment I became Mrs. Jay Hatfield that my life started to change. I have stability, I have commitment, I have accountability and I have a rock to which I can hold onto when my storms get a little too scary for me. I have someone to share good times with and I have someone to cry with me through the bad times. I know any road I travel, Jay is right there with me. And my favorite part about my husband is that he is such a Godly man. He makes his decisions based on what he thinks God would want him to do, not on what Jay would want him to do. What more could a woman want? Well, he does do dishes, trash duty, household chores, kid duty, carpool and laundry too but those things are just perks that go along with him! =)

I love my husband. After 18 years I couldn't imagine my life without him in it. He is so amazing that I can't imagine not spending my life right by his side. God blessed me 18 years ago and for my husband I am so incredibly thankful.

So, I don't often speak of my childhood days. I guess I often think those words "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all". But sometimes I talk about it as a "fill in" so to speak to help my friends understand me a bit better.

My parents aren't not the June and Ward Cleaver type by any means. They married young, divorced soon and fought from there on out. I don't have a relationship with either of them at this time in my adulthood and it is not something I am proud of, it just is what it is. I used to try very hard to be a perfect child so that maybe I could convince these people to love me. But alas, that just left me as one burnt out perfectionist still starved for affection and attention.

I had never really understood a parents unconditional love and, admittedly therefore I have struggled in the past to comprehend God's unconditional love. But, then the most amazing thing happened to me.... I moved to Texas and God gave me 3 most amazing women as my friends. But, quickly they became so much more than my friends. They are my mentors, yes, but they are so much more than that, they are my FAMILY. It was as if God was using them to show me unconditional love. So that by experiencing it here on earth, I could grasp the concept of how HE loves me.

Today they took me out for my birthday lunch (yeah, sometimes we are a little late, but we work it in!) and they spoiled me rotten! I can't even describe the feelings in my heart as I listened to the encouraging, uplifting and complimenting words they used when they spoke to me/about me. In all my years of life on this earth, no one has ever loved me like they do OR cared for me in this way. Well, maybe Jay and my children, but that's a different kind of love we can talk about in another blog. =)

I have been blessed to have had them for 6 years now and it amazes me that with the time that passes, I almost forget that I used to not understand unconditional love. I almost forget that I used to be a people pleasing perfectionist striving to MAKE people love me. Isn't that amazing?

I certainly don't know what I did to deserve them, but they would tell me that it's not because I deserve anything, it's simply because God loves me that He blesses me so.

For the blessing of these women I am truly grateful! I love them each UNCONDITIONALLY!

Things I have learned from watching my husband and my children

Here are some of the things my husband and my children have taught me over the last 14 years:

*If daddy says I am beautiful, then obviously I must be beautiful. Duh, because daddy says so!
*If daddy says you are smart, well isn't daddy the smartest man I know? He must be right!
*If I am scared, then daddy can make all the monsters go away.
*Daddy's snuggles are better than anyone elses in the world.
*Dad's stand on their word, if they say they will, then they will.
*Even though it's not his idea of fun, he will do it anyway just to spend time with one of his favorite people in the world (me!).
*Dad will fight anyone or anything that tries to harm me...no questions asked.
*When there are 3 children, Daddy always knows how to make ME feel special. I AM his favorite, right?
*My daddy laughs because he loves me, my daddy cries because he loves me and my daddy prays daily because he loves me!


Good lessons being learned around here!

Father's Day

Today I get to blog/brag/blog about my husband. What a wonderful father he is! It's funny, our kids love their dad so much, but I don't think they truly grasp how blessed they are to have him. It may not be until they are parents themselves, they will finally grasp the love that this man has for them.

So, at dinner I asked the kids to tell Jay what they loved most about him. Jayson said he loves how Jay tries to do things with him that he likes (like playing tennis in 100 degree weather) and Hunter said there were so many things she couldn't begin to name one, it was too long of a list. And Katie said he was the best dad ever and that she was "now going to cry happy tears!" Well, we all cried happy tears over that! =)

I, too, love many things about my husband. Too many to list....but one of the best things about him is that he places God at the head of our household. Because he is a wise man and he knows that by building our home on the rock, it will stand firm!

Happy Father's Day honey! You are truly one in a million!

YAY for Hunter!

Hunter has made Junior Dance Company! Whoooo Hoooo! She is over the moon and back with happiness. And of course, her daddy and I are so stinkin proud of her.

A friend asked her today "So Hunter do you think you made it because you worked hard or because God made you with a special gift. OR, do you think it was both?" Hunter replied "both" and I agree with her. She definitely worked hard. For a little girl with only 1 little musical theater class and a bit of ballet as a toddler, she really had to step it up a notch this past year. BUT, without the God given talent, the hard work would have been for naught.

Through this year Hunter has learned some valuable things:
1) if you love something, you don't mind doing it over and over and over
2) if you want something bad enough you have to work hard for it
3) if you ask God to lead you throughout the journey, the journey will go much smoother
4) prayer is a very valuable tool when you are frustrated, scared or even excited!

So, the first leg of the journey begins for Hunter in a few weeks. We have asked her what her next goal is....she has a year to work towards it. Let's see if she remembers the things she learned and uses her knowledge toward her new goal.

My girls

This weekend was the big recital for our dance studio. The girls have worked all year for their chance to perform in front of friends and family. I have watched them since September and I too have waited anxiously to see them "under the lights". My grandma even came into town just to watch them dance.

The recital went well and we had fun watching friends dance to their songs too. It's always fun to watch others perform. All the girls did a great job.


My little Katie sassed up the stage with her attitude and smile. That child loves the spotlight and is not the least bit shy. I have to say that must be the Hatfield coming out in her. I think her Grammy would have been her biggest fan tonight!

As a mom I did a total of 14 costume changes and 14 hair changes. That's a LOT for this dance mom novice. At one point I looked at Hunter and asked her (just because I was curious) "is this worth it to you? Does this make you happier than anything in the world? Is this chaos and running around fun for you?" And my sweet angel looked me right in the eye and said "YES!!!"

You see, on this day last year (recital day) my Hunter looked at me and said "I want to be in that dance company" And considering she had only taken one little rec class, I told her that I thought she could make it but that she would have to start working at it and consider taking another class or two. One year ago she set a goal and has worked week after week on perfecting her technique and adding her sass to her dancing. She took a total of 5 classes this year just to get ready for company tryouts. Even when she had surgery and was restricted, she still went to class and walked through all the dances.

We find out in hours whether she made it or not. Honestly, we are all on pins and needles. We realize that with just 1 year of ballet and 1 year of jazz this may not be her year. And we will handle that disappointment if we must. But we are so proud of her for her hard work and she certainly showed she was ready tonight. She is such a beautiful, graceful dancer!